Are affairs ever worth it?
As I grew up I thought affairs were terrible and I had nothing but contempt for people who had affairs. Since growing up and experiencing a few relationships I guess I’ve become quite cynical but now I’m nowhere near as judgemental when it comes to affairs. I still like to think that I’d never personally cheat but I now truly believe there is always a reason behind the infidelity and it is very often a ‘weak’ way of getting out of a dead-beat relationship or a cry for help into fixing a flagging relationship.
My friend Maria recently told me she’s been having an affair for the past eight months and she believes it has been worth all the lies and deception. The guy is an ex of her sister’s so she’s known him a good few years and she told me they have a strong connection fuelled by passion. He makes her feel like she did in the beginning with her husband so in her eyes he is filling a void in her life that her husband no longer can. She still loves her husband and children so she intends to end the affair soon and she believes the happy memories will help reignite the passion in her relationship with her husband. I however am not so sure. I think she will find it pretty hard ending the affair and she could then go on to resent her husband for what he is not. She has also been talking about extending her family and after a bad bout of postnatal depression the last time, I think she’d be a prime candidate for an even worse case with baby number two. Not to mention the big question of ‘Who’s the daddy?’
Another friend has just made the bombshell discovery that her partner has been cheating and she is so devastated that I actually feared for her life. She is slowly getting stronger but the trust has gone completely although she desperately wants to piece her marriage back together she has become a shadow of the woman I once knew and her self-esteem is in smithereens. I’ve advised her to take a holiday and some time out for herself but with four kids and a business she doesn’t have the time or the energy to even think about washing her hair, nevermind taking a full on break from the world.
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